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Some parents worry that setting strict rules may distance them from their kids. But this simply isn’t the case. Though they may gripe and complain and get upset when you become the enforcer, they realize deep down that this shows you care. The parameters you set and enforce make your child feel loved, safe, and secure.

It’s never easy developing and introducing rules. Parents may tend to avoid setting rules because they fear confrontation and unpleasantness. But the uncomfortable stuff isn’t necessarily a reflection on your relationship with your child, it’s just the nature of adolescence - breaking rules and testing boundaries is a part of growing up. We tend to want to be our child’s friend sometimes, and when we’re laying down the law that just isn’t possible. As a parent our primary role is to protect, nurture and provide for our children.

When kids break rules, parents often overreact with harsh, disproportionate and unenforceable punishment, which undermines the effectiveness of setting rules. Instead, when you first tell your child about a new rule, discuss the consequences of breaking that rule - what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Consequences must go hand in hand with boundaries so that your child knows what the cost of breaking the rules will be. The punishments you set should be reasonable and related to the violation. For instance, if you catch your son and his friends smoking, you might “ground” him by restricting his social activities for 7 days.

Punishments should only involve penalties you discussed before the rule was broken. Also, never issue empty threats. It’s understandable that you’ll be angry when house rules are broken, and sharing your feelings of anger, disappointment, or sadness can have a powerfully motivating effect on your child. Since we’re all more inclined to say things we don’t mean when we’re upset, it’s sometimes best to give ourselves a time-out period to cool off before we say something we don’t mean.

Make the ground rules crystal clear to your child. It’s imperative that you are consistent and follow through with a defined disciplinary action after each infraction, and that your child understands the reasons why.

One way to build a good relationship is to have a shared hobby. Face painting is geat fun whether you are the one doing the painting or the one getting your face painted. It can lead to some hilarious moments. So why not learn to face paint. There are so many occasions when you’ll be glad you can face paint – face painting is not just for Halloween. Discover more
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